Hey Savannah! I love your modern approach to the initial story! I'm obsessed with Love and the City, and I think it was clever to put the story in this context. I feel like there are some similarities between the initial story and the tv-show. Besides, the fact that you've created your own illustration is ingenious; it definitely put images on the story and helps us imagine it. How do the guys know about the airline company? I understood that they were hatching a plan to leave the city, but it would be interesting to know which knew guy about it and why. What if you develop the men's perspectives and add more info on them? Like for example, what's their relationship between them? Did they know each other before? It could be interesting to have these details! Additionally, adding more dialogue between them could also dynamize the story and give more tension to the escape. Thank you for the story, I had fun reading it!
Hi Savannah! I really like the style and design of your storybook so far! I also love the theme of your first story! I like the you based it off of Sex and the City and made it more modern and fun to read. I was definitely more interested in the story because of how you wrote it. I am really interested to see if your future stories will all follow this same theme, because I think it could be really cute and interesting if all of your stories took more modern approaches to these stories. The only suggestion that I could give is that I think the story could use a bit more dialogue, but overall this is really good! Good luck!
Hey Savannah. It's so weird (in a good way) to see a page with the navigation on the left-hand side, it really helps your page stand out! "Nervous to nibble on their nuptials" may be my favorite turn of phrase I've read this entire week. The whole story was delightful to read, and the idea of "Flying Horse airlines" really made me chuckle.
It might be worthwhile to add some content to your home page, maybe snippets or pictures from your introduction post? As for the story itself, about the only thing I can think of is perhaps expanding on the personalities of the "girls" a little bit, maybe through some dialogue. I'm thinking of a few scenes where trolls are arguing over how best to cook their meal, if that sparks any ideas for you. Either way, great work!
Hi Savannah! First and foremost, I really love the style and design of your storybook. It really grabbed my attention and I love the color choices. I love how you went with a modern approach to the story! It’s definitely more relatable and can be understood easier. I absolutely loved how you had illustrations which can really help us imagine and I personally think it makes your storybook unique. I think you did a great job on your story and I am interested to see if you are going to continue the theme on your future story or end up going a different route. The layout of your page was great, the only thing I would say would be the first page felt a little empty so adding a little something such as more images will definitely help. Overall great work!!
Hey Savannah! I really enjoyed reading your "Sex and the Goblin City" story! I have never actually watched "Sex and the City" but your story made me want to! I really enjoyed the modern twist that came to the story, especially the Flying Horse Airlines! One thing that I wondered was why the men were in the city with only women to begin with. Knowing that they were business men helped a little but I was still a little confused. When you stated "They all had horrible luck keeping a man around due to their extremely large appetite" you also could have added in a little more information about what they do to the men who they can't keep around. This better tie in the storage locker that you mention at the end of the story! Overall amazing story and I look forward to reading all your stories this semester!
Hi Sav! I like that your storybook is a collection of a few of your favorites stories you enjoyed this semester! It is great to see the twist that you will add to each of your favorite’s stories! Give a new perspective for sure! First off, I really enjoyed the format of your first story. The blocks give it dimension and helps to give breaks to different parts of the story! I liked the way you retold the story by adding pop culture reference. It allows for the story to be more relatable! I also really enjoyed reading you second story! Such a different and creative way of retelling Draupadi’s story! I also really love that you sister inspired you to follow this route. I enjoyed both of your stories and am excited to read more! A very modern like and fresh approach to the originals! A very well done job!
Hi Savannah! I love the layout of your website. It is so comforting and easy to navigate which is always good. The first thing that really caught my eye was your story of the sex and the goblin city. I am a huge Sex and the City fan and really find myself relating with some of the characters such as samantha hahaha. Anyways I am super excited to see what you have in store and keep up the good work!
Hello Savannah, I love your portfolio! Both stories were interesting and had a unique voice to them while still being recognizable as the original Indian myths. My favorite was your retelling of Draupadi and her five husbands. You really captured the feeling of innocent affection and friendship that makes up all elementary school crushes. I especially loved the girl power between Angela, Danielle, and all the other girls; they really put Andrew in his place for being a player. I love that you paired all of the stories with your own illustrations, it brings a tailor-made feeling to the entire project. I do not have any revision suggestions; I think both stories are well-written and captivating just as they are. I’m very excited to see what other stories and illustrations you add to your portfolio. You have such a strong start with these two and it is going to only get better the more you add to it!
Hi Savannah! I love that Judith is a blues singer, what an interesting profession for a main character. I also relate to Judith too I definitely was not made to stay home and cook a man dinner either, lol. I think it could be fun to add some descriptors of what the blues club was actually like on the inside, they are usually so vibrant, and I think it would be a great addition to your story. I enjoy the mystery of the stranger that gave her a ride. Once a friend and I were in a tight spot and got in the car with a stranger and unlike Judy we were lucky to have nothing bad happen to us. Being kidnapped is a personal fear of mine so the scene you portrayed provoked real fear. I’m glad Judy got out of the situation alright. I think you did a wonderful job modernizing the original story I can tell you put a lot of thought into your plot, and I can see all the original points of the story.
Hi Savannah, I really enjoyed reading your storybook. Your second story, “The Heart Wants What the Heart Wants” was so enjoyable to read because of the relatability. All the quotes of the characters were things I’ve heard during recess with my group of friends! I also was so happy to see you incorporate a picture you created on Canva – it brings the storybook so much personality! I like that you thought of your sister while writing this story – makes it more personable and unique! In regard to your third story, I was excited to read it because I watched Nina Paley’s Sita Sings the Blues video. I liked how you created the plot of the story to the modern day – made it more relatable. Once again, I liked how you incorporated a picture you made on Canva. Overall, I really enjoyed reading your storybook, it was so fun loving and lighthearted!
Oh my gosh Savannah!! I absolutely loved your first story "Sex in the Goblin City." First because I already love the movie sex in the city but I also loved the goblin twist you added to the story. The story was light and fun to read, and I totally did not expect the ending! I thought the plan would go perfectly and the men would become dinner. I also love how creative you are with making your own pictures! I had not of even thought of making my own pictures for my story, it added a personal flair and they were fantastic! I think it would be really cool if you added into the story what the men all did after escaping a near death situation. Or I think it would be cool to do a sequel to the story maybe with the men returning for revenge or the ladies trying it again with another twist!
Hi Savannah! I loved each of your stories! They were all so different from each other, so it was really cool to be able to see your range in your writing. I especially loved your second story. I thought it was really cute and still mirrored the original version very well, and learning that your little sister inspired the story was so amazing. The story between Sita and Rama never fails to bring about a lot of strong emotions, and your version was no different. I actually yelled at my computer when I realized that Judith was considering getting in the man's car, and I was so disappointed in Richard. I would love to get a better idea of how Judith handled the aftermath of that situation. Based on the original story and what I read between the lines (and the author's note), I am assuming that Judith and Richard separated and she is living her life how she has always wanted, but that is just my assumption. I would love for you to clarify that a little bit more in your story so that we don't have to guess how she's feeling or what happened during that period of time between him saving her and her singing in the club. Lastly, I think it is really impressive that you created all of the images yourself! Amazing portfolio!
Hey Savannah, I liked your 3rd story a lot. The way you mixed blues with the Ramayana story was a really unique idea. I like the modern setting because it makes it more relatable. Also, the layout of your website is really clean and easy to navigate. I recently did reading notes over Sita Sings the Blues and it was a fascinating story. It was kind of hard to understand reading because of the age of the tale; but you made it easier to understand. The writing style was really good here.
Good afternoon, Savannah! I just got here from your portfolio. While I was there I checked out your second story. I really like how you put an elementary school type of vibe into your version. It made the story very unique and fun to read. I also read Tiny Tales from the Mahabharata. In your version I can see many of the same key elements in your version. I would also like to say that you have done a fantastic job with the author's note as well. It gives the reader a better understanding of the changes you made to get them informed. Lastly, I wanted to say that your portfolio website is also awesome. It is very aesthetically appealing with the various fonts, colors and pictures. It is also easy for the reader to navigate and find exactly what they're looking for. Really great job! Good luck on any upcoming finals you may have!
The Heart Wants What the Heart Wants You set a great tone at the beginning. I can remember very vividly the pressure on Valentine’s day in elementary school. There was a very specific method to the madness. Who you gave each card to mattered very much. You gave your friends and the boys you liked the cuter cards. Ah young love. I can totally put myself back in my fourth grade world. Remembering a boy was the love of my life. A love triangle is totally spicy. I feel like that dynamic ran rampant in middle school and elementary school relationships. I like how you name and describe all the different boys. I can totally picture all of their different personalities. Four square was always a huge deal in elementary school. The games where always high risk and high reward. You did a great job describing that in the story. I like how the girls are still friends in the end. A better ending than most romcoms when the girls are in constant comepetition.
Hi Sav! Your page is so fun! I love all the colors that you have incorporated. It is super organized! I like how it is easy to navigate your website! You are very creative! I love how you have multiple images on your story pages! It is so unique how you created them yourself! That is awesome! You are very talented! Your stories were great as well! Very detailed and contained a great use of imagery. Your stories kept me interested and wanting to read more! Keep up the amazing work! You are doing great!
Hi Sav! I really enjoyed reading your sex and the goblin city! It was very cool to read and how you mixed in the idea of the movie sex and the city! It was very creative and you did a great job on your introduction to the characters and the story. I do like your thought process on trying to make it a girl power story and making the girl characters strong and independent as they should be. I liked the different ways you made the girls and the guys kind of battle it out and have different plans for both of them about trying to win their little showdown. Overall, you did a very nice job and I hope you have success in your future in whatever you do!
Hey Savannah! I love your modern approach to the initial story! I'm obsessed with Love and the City, and I think it was clever to put the story in this context. I feel like there are some similarities between the initial story and the tv-show. Besides, the fact that you've created your own illustration is ingenious; it definitely put images on the story and helps us imagine it. How do the guys know about the airline company? I understood that they were hatching a plan to leave the city, but it would be interesting to know which knew guy about it and why. What if you develop the men's perspectives and add more info on them? Like for example, what's their relationship between them? Did they know each other before? It could be interesting to have these details! Additionally, adding more dialogue between them could also dynamize the story and give more tension to the escape.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the story, I had fun reading it!
Hi Savannah!
ReplyDeleteI really like the style and design of your storybook so far! I also love the theme of your first story! I like the you based it off of Sex and the City and made it more modern and fun to read. I was definitely more interested in the story because of how you wrote it. I am really interested to see if your future stories will all follow this same theme, because I think it could be really cute and interesting if all of your stories took more modern approaches to these stories. The only suggestion that I could give is that I think the story could use a bit more dialogue, but overall this is really good! Good luck!
Hey Savannah. It's so weird (in a good way) to see a page with the navigation on the left-hand side, it really helps your page stand out! "Nervous to nibble on their nuptials" may be my favorite turn of phrase I've read this entire week. The whole story was delightful to read, and the idea of "Flying Horse airlines" really made me chuckle.
ReplyDeleteIt might be worthwhile to add some content to your home page, maybe snippets or pictures from your introduction post? As for the story itself, about the only thing I can think of is perhaps expanding on the personalities of the "girls" a little bit, maybe through some dialogue. I'm thinking of a few scenes where trolls are arguing over how best to cook their meal, if that sparks any ideas for you. Either way, great work!
Hi Savannah! First and foremost, I really love the style and design of your storybook. It really grabbed my attention and I love the color choices. I love how you went with a modern approach to the story! It’s definitely more relatable and can be understood easier. I absolutely loved how you had illustrations which can really help us imagine and I personally think it makes your storybook unique. I think you did a great job on your story and I am interested to see if you are going to continue the theme on your future story or end up going a different route. The layout of your page was great, the only thing I would say would be the first page felt a little empty so adding a little something such as more images will definitely help. Overall great work!!
ReplyDeleteHey Savannah!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your "Sex and the Goblin City" story! I have never actually watched "Sex and the City" but your story made me want to! I really enjoyed the modern twist that came to the story, especially the Flying Horse Airlines! One thing that I wondered was why the men were in the city with only women to begin with. Knowing that they were business men helped a little but I was still a little confused. When you stated "They all had horrible luck keeping a man around due to their extremely large appetite" you also could have added in a little more information about what they do to the men who they can't keep around. This better tie in the storage locker that you mention at the end of the story! Overall amazing story and I look forward to reading all your stories this semester!
Hi Sav! I like that your storybook is a collection of a few of your favorites stories you enjoyed this semester! It is great to see the twist that you will add to each of your favorite’s stories! Give a new perspective for sure! First off, I really enjoyed the format of your first story. The blocks give it dimension and helps to give breaks to different parts of the story! I liked the way you retold the story by adding pop culture reference. It allows for the story to be more relatable! I also really enjoyed reading you second story! Such a different and creative way of retelling Draupadi’s story! I also really love that you sister inspired you to follow this route. I enjoyed both of your stories and am excited to read more! A very modern like and fresh approach to the originals! A very well done job!
ReplyDeleteHi Savannah!
ReplyDeleteI love the layout of your website. It is so comforting and easy to navigate which is always good. The first thing that really caught my eye was your story of the sex and the goblin city. I am a huge Sex and the City fan and really find myself relating with some of the characters such as samantha hahaha. Anyways I am super excited to see what you have in store and keep up the good work!
Hello Savannah, I love your portfolio! Both stories were interesting and had a unique voice to them while still being recognizable as the original Indian myths. My favorite was your retelling of Draupadi and her five husbands. You really captured the feeling of innocent affection and friendship that makes up all elementary school crushes. I especially loved the girl power between Angela, Danielle, and all the other girls; they really put Andrew in his place for being a player. I love that you paired all of the stories with your own illustrations, it brings a tailor-made feeling to the entire project. I do not have any revision suggestions; I think both stories are well-written and captivating just as they are. I’m very excited to see what other stories and illustrations you add to your portfolio. You have such a strong start with these two and it is going to only get better the more you add to it!
ReplyDeleteHi Savannah!
ReplyDeleteI love that Judith is a blues singer, what an interesting profession for a main character. I also relate to Judith too I definitely was not made to stay home and cook a man dinner either, lol. I think it could be fun to add some descriptors of what the blues club was actually like on the inside, they are usually so vibrant, and I think it would be a great addition to your story. I enjoy the mystery of the stranger that gave her a ride. Once a friend and I were in a tight spot and got in the car with a stranger and unlike Judy we were lucky to have nothing bad happen to us. Being kidnapped is a personal fear of mine so the scene you portrayed provoked real fear. I’m glad Judy got out of the situation alright. I think you did a wonderful job modernizing the original story I can tell you put a lot of thought into your plot, and I can see all the original points of the story.
Hi Savannah, I really enjoyed reading your storybook. Your second story, “The Heart Wants What the Heart Wants” was so enjoyable to read because of the relatability. All the quotes of the characters were things I’ve heard during recess with my group of friends! I also was so happy to see you incorporate a picture you created on Canva – it brings the storybook so much personality! I like that you thought of your sister while writing this story – makes it more personable and unique! In regard to your third story, I was excited to read it because I watched Nina Paley’s Sita Sings the Blues video. I liked how you created the plot of the story to the modern day – made it more relatable. Once again, I liked how you incorporated a picture you made on Canva. Overall, I really enjoyed reading your storybook, it was so fun loving and lighthearted!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh Savannah!! I absolutely loved your first story "Sex in the Goblin City." First because I already love the movie sex in the city but I also loved the goblin twist you added to the story. The story was light and fun to read, and I totally did not expect the ending! I thought the plan would go perfectly and the men would become dinner. I also love how creative you are with making your own pictures! I had not of even thought of making my own pictures for my story, it added a personal flair and they were fantastic! I think it would be really cool if you added into the story what the men all did after escaping a near death situation. Or I think it would be cool to do a sequel to the story maybe with the men returning for revenge or the ladies trying it again with another twist!
ReplyDeleteHi Savannah!
ReplyDeleteI loved each of your stories! They were all so different from each other, so it was really cool to be able to see your range in your writing. I especially loved your second story. I thought it was really cute and still mirrored the original version very well, and learning that your little sister inspired the story was so amazing. The story between Sita and Rama never fails to bring about a lot of strong emotions, and your version was no different. I actually yelled at my computer when I realized that Judith was considering getting in the man's car, and I was so disappointed in Richard. I would love to get a better idea of how Judith handled the aftermath of that situation. Based on the original story and what I read between the lines (and the author's note), I am assuming that Judith and Richard separated and she is living her life how she has always wanted, but that is just my assumption. I would love for you to clarify that a little bit more in your story so that we don't have to guess how she's feeling or what happened during that period of time between him saving her and her singing in the club. Lastly, I think it is really impressive that you created all of the images yourself! Amazing portfolio!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHey Savannah,
ReplyDeleteI liked your 3rd story a lot. The way you mixed blues with the Ramayana story was a really unique idea. I like the modern setting because it makes it more relatable. Also, the layout of your website is really clean and easy to navigate. I recently did reading notes over Sita Sings the Blues and it was a fascinating story. It was kind of hard to understand reading because of the age of the tale; but you made it easier to understand. The writing style was really good here.
Good afternoon, Savannah! I just got here from your portfolio. While I was there I checked out your second story. I really like how you put an elementary school type of vibe into your version. It made the story very unique and fun to read. I also read Tiny Tales from the Mahabharata. In your version I can see many of the same key elements in your version. I would also like to say that you have done a fantastic job with the author's note as well. It gives the reader a better understanding of the changes you made to get them informed. Lastly, I wanted to say that your portfolio website is also awesome. It is very aesthetically appealing with the various fonts, colors and pictures. It is also easy for the reader to navigate and find exactly what they're looking for. Really great job! Good luck on any upcoming finals you may have!
ReplyDeleteThe Heart Wants What the Heart Wants
ReplyDeleteYou set a great tone at the beginning. I can remember very vividly the pressure on Valentine’s day in elementary school. There was a very specific method to the madness. Who you gave each card to mattered very much. You gave your friends and the boys you liked the cuter cards. Ah young love. I can totally put myself back in my fourth grade world. Remembering a boy was the love of my life. A love triangle is totally spicy. I feel like that dynamic ran rampant in middle school and elementary school relationships. I like how you name and describe all the different boys. I can totally picture all of their different personalities. Four square was always a huge deal in elementary school. The games where always high risk and high reward. You did a great job describing that in the story. I like how the girls are still friends in the end. A better ending than most romcoms when the girls are in constant comepetition.
Hi Sav! Your page is so fun! I love all the colors that you have incorporated. It is super organized! I like how it is easy to navigate your website! You are very creative! I love how you have multiple images on your story pages! It is so unique how you created them yourself! That is awesome! You are very talented! Your stories were great as well! Very detailed and contained a great use of imagery. Your stories kept me interested and wanting to read more! Keep up the amazing work! You are doing great!
ReplyDeleteHi Sav! I really enjoyed reading your sex and the goblin city! It was very cool to read and how you mixed in the idea of the movie sex and the city! It was very creative and you did a great job on your introduction to the characters and the story. I do like your thought process on trying to make it a girl power story and making the girl characters strong and independent as they should be. I liked the different ways you made the girls and the guys kind of battle it out and have different plans for both of them about trying to win their little showdown. Overall, you did a very nice job and I hope you have success in your future in whatever you do!
ReplyDelete